Mental illness is a life long journey. It does not go away; however, a person can recover by rising above the circumstances. They must learn to manage their symptoms. They must have a reason to get up in the morning. They must have a sense of purpose. Those struggling with mental illness know that this is easier said than done. Helping hands are needed.
There are many available services to help someone understand and manage their symptoms. People new to the system are often puzzled. What are these services? How can I find these services? Who can help?
No one person with mental illness needs all the services so the bits and pieces must be collected from various places to meet individual needs. Education and support for the person with the diagnosis and the family members is essential. A united aggressive and assertive effort is needed to find out what is available. The following scenario is offered as an example of how a person finds out about some services during hospitalization, at discharge from the hospital, and after discharge.
During hospitalization it is common for the patient to receive information about the illness and the importance of staying on medication. Some hospital social workers offer to begin the paper work to apply for disability, if appropriate. Many psychiatric hospitals include the family to get a complete family history and invite the family to treatment team meetings. Some include family nights where the family is educated about mental illness. More and more professionals are realizing that an educated family helps prevent relapse and facilitates recovery. Some recommend NAMI courses and support groups for the person with mental illness and for their family.
Often hospital programs invite the family to the discharge conference.
Frequently the discharge plan includes valuable information and suggestions about housing, day programs, entitlements, medication, and managing symptoms. It is never wrong to ask the hospital if these services are available to you and your family member.
After discharge, the patient might need a long period of rest and sleep
to recover from the trauma inflicted on the brain by a psychotic break. In the meantime, family members can investigate available help. One agency will come into the home and provide a variety of services including how to prevent another hospitalization. Day treatment programs provide transportation to outpatient programs that assist in the transition from hospitalization to home. The many services the day treatment programs offer are all geared to helping the patient develop and improve their ability to function. Upon discharge, there are free apartments for a limited amount of time for those who are homeless or not allowed back into their homes. Positive Connections, a Calcasieu parish school, is exclusively for children with mental illness. Other programs have case managers that provide long term support to help the individual in living independently in the community. When the individual is ready to go to work, there is an agency that assesses their job skills, finds them additional training, places them in a job, and supplies a job coach if necessary.
Call, ask questions, tell them what you need. These professionals are in a “helping position.” Their jobs are devoted to helping people get better.
For more information on these services, call or look on line for the following: Assertive Community Treatment, Volunteers of America, MMO Behavioral Health Systems, Bridgeway Psychiatric Center, Positive Connections Calcasieu Parish, Louisiana Rehabilitation, Resource Management, the National Alliance of Mental Illness of Southwest Louisiana. In addition, call 2-1-1 which is a centralized, consolidated, ever evolving, and continually updated information and referral system for Southwest Louisiana.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Recovery and mental illness
Consider Jonathon Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach in the light of someone who is struggling to recover from mental illness.
After so many attempts to fly faster and higher, having so many smashes and crashes, Jonathon thought, “There is no way around it. I am a seagull. I am limited by my nature.” Jonathon gave in. He decided to be just another one of the flock, thinking, “There would be no more challenge and NO MORE FAILURE.”
But Jonathon had that special quality it takes to recover: try, try again. So he did continue trying until he eventually succeeded going beyond the expectations of the ordinary seagull – only to be called to the Circle of Shame to be admonished. He was told that “we are put into this world to eat, to stay alive as long as we possibly can.” That’s it?
Jonathon objected. He knew there was more. “There is a reason to life!” he said. “We can lift ourselves…we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free!”
Patricia Deegan, Ph.D, is a clinical psychologist who has a mental illness. She is a leader in the recovery movement. In her words, recovery is “a decision to meet the challenge of disability…People experience themselves as recovering a new sense of self and purpose within and beyond the limits of the disability.” This is something only the self can do; it is a decision to lead a hopeful life and to make a contribution in spite of the limitations imposed by illness.
A further definition of recovery comes from Steven Kerkser, former head of the Florida Consumer Action Council (quote):
“Recovery is not remission, nor is it a return to a preexisting state. The idea that we can be ‘cured’ is counterproductive to recovery…
Recovery is the development of new ego and identity structures to replace those damaged by our illnesses. Recovery is about wellness, that is, the redevelopment of a new and healthier personality and lifestyle; an independent personality that is strong enough to stand on its own. Recovery takes place through creation of new patterns of behavior that make our lives more satisfying and productive.
People in recovery like themselves as they are, accept their disability, and enjoy the life they have. Acceptance of one’s disability can lead to greater appreciation of one’s own strengths and new levels of self-esteem. Recovery is based on personal choice, responsibility, self-determination and self-esteem.”
The concept of “choosing to live again” is as meaningful for family members as it is for the person with the mental illness. It asks us to come to terms with the trauma that has beset us. It asks us to give up unrealistic expectations, and put away our shattered dreams of what might have been. It demands that we replace loss and grief with action; it insists that we embrace the people we love the way they are now, and work to give them brighter hope for the future.
It asks us to look beyond what might be the bleak picture of our family member just sleeping or sitting around, smoking endlessly, watching TV, going nowhere. Next month we will see what is offered in the community to help them realize, as Jonathon did. “There is a reason to life!”
After so many attempts to fly faster and higher, having so many smashes and crashes, Jonathon thought, “There is no way around it. I am a seagull. I am limited by my nature.” Jonathon gave in. He decided to be just another one of the flock, thinking, “There would be no more challenge and NO MORE FAILURE.”
But Jonathon had that special quality it takes to recover: try, try again. So he did continue trying until he eventually succeeded going beyond the expectations of the ordinary seagull – only to be called to the Circle of Shame to be admonished. He was told that “we are put into this world to eat, to stay alive as long as we possibly can.” That’s it?
Jonathon objected. He knew there was more. “There is a reason to life!” he said. “We can lift ourselves…we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free!”
Patricia Deegan, Ph.D, is a clinical psychologist who has a mental illness. She is a leader in the recovery movement. In her words, recovery is “a decision to meet the challenge of disability…People experience themselves as recovering a new sense of self and purpose within and beyond the limits of the disability.” This is something only the self can do; it is a decision to lead a hopeful life and to make a contribution in spite of the limitations imposed by illness.
A further definition of recovery comes from Steven Kerkser, former head of the Florida Consumer Action Council (quote):
“Recovery is not remission, nor is it a return to a preexisting state. The idea that we can be ‘cured’ is counterproductive to recovery…
Recovery is the development of new ego and identity structures to replace those damaged by our illnesses. Recovery is about wellness, that is, the redevelopment of a new and healthier personality and lifestyle; an independent personality that is strong enough to stand on its own. Recovery takes place through creation of new patterns of behavior that make our lives more satisfying and productive.
People in recovery like themselves as they are, accept their disability, and enjoy the life they have. Acceptance of one’s disability can lead to greater appreciation of one’s own strengths and new levels of self-esteem. Recovery is based on personal choice, responsibility, self-determination and self-esteem.”
The concept of “choosing to live again” is as meaningful for family members as it is for the person with the mental illness. It asks us to come to terms with the trauma that has beset us. It asks us to give up unrealistic expectations, and put away our shattered dreams of what might have been. It demands that we replace loss and grief with action; it insists that we embrace the people we love the way they are now, and work to give them brighter hope for the future.
It asks us to look beyond what might be the bleak picture of our family member just sleeping or sitting around, smoking endlessly, watching TV, going nowhere. Next month we will see what is offered in the community to help them realize, as Jonathon did. “There is a reason to life!”
Crisis and mental illness
Sooner or later, if a family member is diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression, a serious crisis (psychotic episode) is likely to occur. What should you do? How can you avoid a disaster? Ideally, you need to reverse any increase of the psychotic symptoms and provide immediate protection and support to the individual with the mental illness.
Sometimes well-meaning, uninformed family members do and say things that they regret. “If I had only known better,” they frequently say as they come to an understanding in the NAMI Family-to-Family Education Course. The course material frequently and gently reminds them, “You can’t know what no one has ever told you.”
First, let’s put this episode in perspective. Seldom, if ever, does a person suddenly lose total control of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Look back a few days, a few weeks before the episode. Was there behavior that caused concern: sleeplessness, ritualistic preoccupation with certain activities, suspiciousness, unpredictable outbursts. Sometimes, with experience and knowledge, family members become aware of the early signs and can avert a full-blown crisis. Often the person has stopped taking medication. A visit to the doctor should be encouraged. However, the more psychotic the loved one is, the less likely they are to cooperate. Learn to see the early signs. If you feel the fear and panic of an impending crisis, do what you can to help your loved one regain control. Do nothing to further agitate the scene.
You must remain calm. If you are alone, get someone to stay with you until professional help arrives.
In the meantime, the following guidelines might be helpful:
Don’t threaten. This may be interpreted as a power play and increase fear or cause assaultive behavior by the patient.
Don’t shout. If the mentally ill person seems not to be listening, it could be that other “voices” are interfering.
Don’t criticize. It will only make matters worse..
Don’t squabble with other family members over what to do or who to blame.
Don’t bait the patient into acting out wild threats; the consequences could be tragic.
Don’t stand over patient if he or she is seated. Instead, seat yourself.
Avoid direct continuous eye contact or touching the patient.
Comply with requests that are neither endangering nor beyond reason. Or ask your loved one gently, “What do you need?” This provides the patient with an opportunity to feel somewhat in control.
Don’t block the doorway. However do keep yourself between the patient and an exit.
It will help you to know that the patient is probably terrified by the experience of loss of control over thoughts and feelings. Furthermore, the “voices” may be giving life-threatening commands; messages may be coming from the light fixtures; the room may be filled with poisonous fumes; snakes may be crawling everywhere.
Accept the fact that your loved one is in an “altered reality state.” In extreme situations the patient may “act out” the hallucination, e.g. shatter the window to destroy the snakes.
In the final analysis, the family member may have to be hospitalized to be safe, comfortable, and stable. If you cannot get your loved one to go voluntarily to the doctor or the hospital, you can call law enforcement or 911. Explain that your relative or friend is in need of a psychiatric assessment. Ask for officers who have had Crisis Intervention Training. Your family member will be safe with these officers, especially if they have been trained to handle someone with mental illness.
This information is based on or directly comes from material in the Family-to-Family Education course.
For more information contact the NAMI SWLA office at 337-433-0219 or email us at namiswla@bellsouth.net
Sometimes well-meaning, uninformed family members do and say things that they regret. “If I had only known better,” they frequently say as they come to an understanding in the NAMI Family-to-Family Education Course. The course material frequently and gently reminds them, “You can’t know what no one has ever told you.”
First, let’s put this episode in perspective. Seldom, if ever, does a person suddenly lose total control of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Look back a few days, a few weeks before the episode. Was there behavior that caused concern: sleeplessness, ritualistic preoccupation with certain activities, suspiciousness, unpredictable outbursts. Sometimes, with experience and knowledge, family members become aware of the early signs and can avert a full-blown crisis. Often the person has stopped taking medication. A visit to the doctor should be encouraged. However, the more psychotic the loved one is, the less likely they are to cooperate. Learn to see the early signs. If you feel the fear and panic of an impending crisis, do what you can to help your loved one regain control. Do nothing to further agitate the scene.
You must remain calm. If you are alone, get someone to stay with you until professional help arrives.
In the meantime, the following guidelines might be helpful:
Don’t threaten. This may be interpreted as a power play and increase fear or cause assaultive behavior by the patient.
Don’t shout. If the mentally ill person seems not to be listening, it could be that other “voices” are interfering.
Don’t criticize. It will only make matters worse..
Don’t squabble with other family members over what to do or who to blame.
Don’t bait the patient into acting out wild threats; the consequences could be tragic.
Don’t stand over patient if he or she is seated. Instead, seat yourself.
Avoid direct continuous eye contact or touching the patient.
Comply with requests that are neither endangering nor beyond reason. Or ask your loved one gently, “What do you need?” This provides the patient with an opportunity to feel somewhat in control.
Don’t block the doorway. However do keep yourself between the patient and an exit.
It will help you to know that the patient is probably terrified by the experience of loss of control over thoughts and feelings. Furthermore, the “voices” may be giving life-threatening commands; messages may be coming from the light fixtures; the room may be filled with poisonous fumes; snakes may be crawling everywhere.
Accept the fact that your loved one is in an “altered reality state.” In extreme situations the patient may “act out” the hallucination, e.g. shatter the window to destroy the snakes.
In the final analysis, the family member may have to be hospitalized to be safe, comfortable, and stable. If you cannot get your loved one to go voluntarily to the doctor or the hospital, you can call law enforcement or 911. Explain that your relative or friend is in need of a psychiatric assessment. Ask for officers who have had Crisis Intervention Training. Your family member will be safe with these officers, especially if they have been trained to handle someone with mental illness.
This information is based on or directly comes from material in the Family-to-Family Education course.
For more information contact the NAMI SWLA office at 337-433-0219 or email us at namiswla@bellsouth.net
Psychosis and mental illness
“What do you need?” she asked her son who was in a bizarre state of psychosis. “Solidarity,” he replied. He needed unity of self, unity of family. He was coming apart, having disorganized thoughts, drifting away from the person he had always been.
For many years, a person with psychosis was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Today the mental health professionals know that psychotic features are not limited to schizophrenia. People in acute stages of mania and depression also can experience psychosis.
The following are symptoms of schizophrenia that can also be characteristic of psychosis in depression and mania.
DELUSIONS: These are disturbances in thought involving the misinterpretation of perceptions and experiences. These false beliefs usually have a theme of one or more of the following: persecution, religion, feelings of being cosmically important.
HALLUCINATIONS: Most commonly, hallucinations involve hearing one or several voices which make a running comment on the person’s behavior and thoughts. The voices are perceived as distinct from the person’s own thoughts, and are often experienced as critical or threatening. Hallucinations can also occur in the other senses (bizarre interpretations of sight, smell, taste, and touch).
DISORGANIZED SPEECH: This is totally illogical thinking as evidenced in the person’s speech. Answers to questions may be totally unrelated or severely disorganized (incoherence, “word salad,” loose associations).
GROSSLY DISORGANIZED OR CATATONIC BEHAVIOR: Disorganized behavior ranges from childlike silliness and inappropriate reactions, to totally unpredictable agitation. There are problems in goal directed behavior and great difficulties in performing the activities of daily living. Behavior is often strangely disturbed (posturing, grimacing), appearance disheveled, with frequent untriggered agitation, particularly swearing, shouting, and negativism. Catatonic motor behaviors involve a marked decrease in reacting to the environment (stupor, muteness, rigidity), or excessive, purposeless motor activity (catatonic excitement).
NEGATIVE SYMPTOMS; These appear as affective flattening or blunting (face is immobile, unresponsive, expressionless); difficulty expressing oneself (short, empty replies, lack of fluency); inability to initiate and persist in goal-directed activity; little interest in participating in work and social activities; inability to relate to others.
All of these characteristics do not have to be present to constitute a psychotic state.
When psychosis strikes, it is difficult to reason with the person on the basis of shared understanding. This will frustrate the family member’s efforts to aid and assist their ill loved one.
It is important to know that these delusions and hallucinations are real to the person in psychosis. It is futile to argue with them about their perceptions; however, there are some actions one can take to help or avoid the potential for disaster. The idea is to reverse any escalation of the psychotic symptoms and provide immediate protection and support to the individual with the mental illness. There will be more on this next month.
For many years, a person with psychosis was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Today the mental health professionals know that psychotic features are not limited to schizophrenia. People in acute stages of mania and depression also can experience psychosis.
The following are symptoms of schizophrenia that can also be characteristic of psychosis in depression and mania.
DELUSIONS: These are disturbances in thought involving the misinterpretation of perceptions and experiences. These false beliefs usually have a theme of one or more of the following: persecution, religion, feelings of being cosmically important.
HALLUCINATIONS: Most commonly, hallucinations involve hearing one or several voices which make a running comment on the person’s behavior and thoughts. The voices are perceived as distinct from the person’s own thoughts, and are often experienced as critical or threatening. Hallucinations can also occur in the other senses (bizarre interpretations of sight, smell, taste, and touch).
DISORGANIZED SPEECH: This is totally illogical thinking as evidenced in the person’s speech. Answers to questions may be totally unrelated or severely disorganized (incoherence, “word salad,” loose associations).
GROSSLY DISORGANIZED OR CATATONIC BEHAVIOR: Disorganized behavior ranges from childlike silliness and inappropriate reactions, to totally unpredictable agitation. There are problems in goal directed behavior and great difficulties in performing the activities of daily living. Behavior is often strangely disturbed (posturing, grimacing), appearance disheveled, with frequent untriggered agitation, particularly swearing, shouting, and negativism. Catatonic motor behaviors involve a marked decrease in reacting to the environment (stupor, muteness, rigidity), or excessive, purposeless motor activity (catatonic excitement).
NEGATIVE SYMPTOMS; These appear as affective flattening or blunting (face is immobile, unresponsive, expressionless); difficulty expressing oneself (short, empty replies, lack of fluency); inability to initiate and persist in goal-directed activity; little interest in participating in work and social activities; inability to relate to others.
All of these characteristics do not have to be present to constitute a psychotic state.
When psychosis strikes, it is difficult to reason with the person on the basis of shared understanding. This will frustrate the family member’s efforts to aid and assist their ill loved one.
It is important to know that these delusions and hallucinations are real to the person in psychosis. It is futile to argue with them about their perceptions; however, there are some actions one can take to help or avoid the potential for disaster. The idea is to reverse any escalation of the psychotic symptoms and provide immediate protection and support to the individual with the mental illness. There will be more on this next month.
Why can't someone just tell us what the diagnosis is?
Did you know that . . . .
1. Mental illnesses occupy more hospital beds than heart disease and cancer combined?
2. A recent study reports that people with bipolar disorder consulted more than 3 physicians over a period of 10 years before their illness was correctly diagnosed.
3. There can be a lag between onset diagnosis and treatment of schizophrenia that can last for years.
4. The vast majority of depressed people are misdiagnosed.
5. Schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and depression can have psychotic features such as paranoia, delusions, auditory and or visual hallucinations. There was a time when these symptoms of psychosis were only associated with schizophrenia.
6. Some medical diseases, in addition to their physical symptoms, can present behavioral symptoms that mimic mental illness;
7. For many decades mental illnesses were seen as the result of character disorders or family dysfunction.
Why can’t someone just tell us what the diagnosis is?
1. There are no blood tests, x-rays, or scans that can definitively diagnose mental illness. There is exciting research being done in these areas, but there is nothing yet that can give an exact diagnosis; therefore, psychiatrists continue to include the patient’s report of symptoms based on how they feel, act, behave, and think.
2. Often a person with an untreated mental illness is not able to perceive that they have an illness.
3. Sometimes a person will present symptoms not previously manifested. For example, a person with bipolar disorder might begin exhibiting symptoms of schizophrenia and subsequently be given a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.
4. It is not uncommon for a person to have several different psychiatric diagnoses at various times in their life, or simultaneously.
Rather than doubting the mental health profession because of this lack of certainty, it is important to focus on the fact that something is wrong with your family member – no matter what label is put on it. Sometimes the method of treatment is also uncertain, but there is HOPE! In most cases TREATMENT WORKS! However, it takes time, patience, and persistence.
This information comes from NAMI Family-to-Family Education Program, a course offered by the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
For more information, call the local NAMI office, 337-433-0219.
1. Mental illnesses occupy more hospital beds than heart disease and cancer combined?
2. A recent study reports that people with bipolar disorder consulted more than 3 physicians over a period of 10 years before their illness was correctly diagnosed.
3. There can be a lag between onset diagnosis and treatment of schizophrenia that can last for years.
4. The vast majority of depressed people are misdiagnosed.
5. Schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and depression can have psychotic features such as paranoia, delusions, auditory and or visual hallucinations. There was a time when these symptoms of psychosis were only associated with schizophrenia.
6. Some medical diseases, in addition to their physical symptoms, can present behavioral symptoms that mimic mental illness;
7. For many decades mental illnesses were seen as the result of character disorders or family dysfunction.
Why can’t someone just tell us what the diagnosis is?
1. There are no blood tests, x-rays, or scans that can definitively diagnose mental illness. There is exciting research being done in these areas, but there is nothing yet that can give an exact diagnosis; therefore, psychiatrists continue to include the patient’s report of symptoms based on how they feel, act, behave, and think.
2. Often a person with an untreated mental illness is not able to perceive that they have an illness.
3. Sometimes a person will present symptoms not previously manifested. For example, a person with bipolar disorder might begin exhibiting symptoms of schizophrenia and subsequently be given a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.
4. It is not uncommon for a person to have several different psychiatric diagnoses at various times in their life, or simultaneously.
Rather than doubting the mental health profession because of this lack of certainty, it is important to focus on the fact that something is wrong with your family member – no matter what label is put on it. Sometimes the method of treatment is also uncertain, but there is HOPE! In most cases TREATMENT WORKS! However, it takes time, patience, and persistence.
This information comes from NAMI Family-to-Family Education Program, a course offered by the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
For more information, call the local NAMI office, 337-433-0219.
Stages of emotional response to mental illness
What does one do when a beloved family member, who has always been competent, begins to have ideas such as: “My thoughts are being transmitted out into the world” or “People are putting bad ideas into my head” or “Everything I see and hear has some special meaning, cosmic importance and makes reference particularly to me” or “The voice of God is giving me commands” or “I am sick, sinful, everybody is after me” or “I am Jesus.”
To further complicate matters, it is no longer possible to reason with the loved one. They cannot be convinced that these ideas are not real.
How do families respond to this catastrophe? This is a crises. There is chaos, shock, trauma. There is disbelief, denial. In the meantime, their family member gets more bizarre. He might be extremely paranoid, thinking that the CIA is after him. Or he might be moving so fast and talking so fast that he becomes confused. His thoughts and ideas are loosely connected. He often becomes argumentative, making embarrassing scenes at home and in the public.
Even if the family is lucky enough to work with a psychiatrist when these signs first appear, they often cannot, will not believe what the psychiatrist tells them. They hope against hope that this is not a mental illness, that this will never happen again. They try to normalize life, get things back to the way it was before these strange things appeared. They want their family to return to the way things were.
What does the family need during this initial stage of dealing with this catastrophic event? They need support, comfort, empathy. They need help finding resources, such as Crisis Intervention, housing, Social Security disability. They need to know the prognosis of this illness. They need to know about NAMI.
When the family enters the second stage of the emotional responses, they may be learning to cope; they must learn how to deal with the anger, guilt, resentment, and grief about what has happened to their lives and the life of their loved one. They need help recognizing what is going on. In addition, they need
a safe place to vent their feelings. Education about mental illness will give them hope. They will learn to take care of themselves, how to empathize with their mentally ill loved one, how to communicate and problem solve. They will learn about the mental health system and will have an opportunity to network with others who have been down this same road. They will learn how to “let go.” They will learn about NAMI.
Finally, with education, family members will come to a life changing understanding and acceptance of mental illness. Hopefully, they will move into advocacy and action to improve the lives of those with mental illness. They will restore balance in their life.
To further complicate matters, it is no longer possible to reason with the loved one. They cannot be convinced that these ideas are not real.
How do families respond to this catastrophe? This is a crises. There is chaos, shock, trauma. There is disbelief, denial. In the meantime, their family member gets more bizarre. He might be extremely paranoid, thinking that the CIA is after him. Or he might be moving so fast and talking so fast that he becomes confused. His thoughts and ideas are loosely connected. He often becomes argumentative, making embarrassing scenes at home and in the public.
Even if the family is lucky enough to work with a psychiatrist when these signs first appear, they often cannot, will not believe what the psychiatrist tells them. They hope against hope that this is not a mental illness, that this will never happen again. They try to normalize life, get things back to the way it was before these strange things appeared. They want their family to return to the way things were.
What does the family need during this initial stage of dealing with this catastrophic event? They need support, comfort, empathy. They need help finding resources, such as Crisis Intervention, housing, Social Security disability. They need to know the prognosis of this illness. They need to know about NAMI.
When the family enters the second stage of the emotional responses, they may be learning to cope; they must learn how to deal with the anger, guilt, resentment, and grief about what has happened to their lives and the life of their loved one. They need help recognizing what is going on. In addition, they need
a safe place to vent their feelings. Education about mental illness will give them hope. They will learn to take care of themselves, how to empathize with their mentally ill loved one, how to communicate and problem solve. They will learn about the mental health system and will have an opportunity to network with others who have been down this same road. They will learn how to “let go.” They will learn about NAMI.
Finally, with education, family members will come to a life changing understanding and acceptance of mental illness. Hopefully, they will move into advocacy and action to improve the lives of those with mental illness. They will restore balance in their life.
No fault mental illness
When mental illness strikes an adolescent or young adult in a family, there is shock, denial, and GUILT. Where did we go wrong? How can this be happening to our child?
Then the blame game begins. The mother thinks the father was too strict, too harsh on the child. The father thinks the mother was too soft on the child. If she would have just let me handle it my way, the child wouldn’t have these problems. Relatives, family members, and neighbors often think the parents enabled the child’s behavior. Think of all the times they got their child out of jail, Remember the child’s continued reckless behavior without regard for the consequences. Or they seemed do nothing about their child’s sadness, failing grades, and lack of motivation. If they had been better parents, this would not be happening.
When parents come to the NAMI Family-to-Family Education class, they often come with feelings of shame and guilt. When they begin to learn that mental illness is not something you can do to your child, they are relieved. They may still have regrets for the way they treated the child and the things they said to the child in an attempt to control their ways of thinking and behaving. However, they are continually reminded in the course that “you can’t know what no one has ever told you.”
As the course continues, they become convinced that mental illness is caused by brain disorders, disturbances in brain chemistry, genetic predisposition, and that mental illness is NOBODY’S FAULT. A parent cannot give a person a mental illness in the same way that one cannot give a person Diabetes, epilepsy, or an autoimmune disease, to name a few. These are illnesses that are caused by physical conditions beyond the control of the parent or the person with the condition.
A father cannot mistreat a child and cause the pancreas or nervous system to malfunction. A mother cannot control epilepsy by demanding that the child “stop shaking.” There is no point in the parent stomping their foot and telling the child to bring their blood sugar down “right this minute or you will be punished.”
Parents and the person with the illness need to have this atmosphere of shame lifted. They should understand that they haven’t done anything wrong to cause this mental illness. Once they realize that mental illness is a No Fault Illness, they can be free to work toward recovery.
Announcements will be forthcoming about the Family-to-Family course to be offered the first part of February and the Peer-to-Peer course for the person with the mental illness, which will be announced at a later date.
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